


Dreaming (run into the night screaming)

by peskylilcritter



Series: Ashes, Ashes (We All Fall) [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Minor Injuries, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:51:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19276495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peskylilcritter/pseuds/peskylilcritter
Summary: After the end of the world, the only thing that disrupts the peace Ben and Ani have built here is the past, generally in the form of nightmares.





	Dreaming (run into the night screaming)

**Author's Note:**

> several years ago i wrote this in response to a prompt on tumblr:
> 
> "idea three: anankin comes back with his mothers body, stays long enough to bury her and then goes with padme to rescue obiwan.
> 
> the three of them survive, anakin loses a hand, dooku escapes.
> 
> but once they’ve returned to coruscant, the council insists on speaking to anakin privately.
> 
> after some time yoda comes to find obiwan, to tell him that his padawan has decided to leave the order.
> 
> obiwan starts running, hoping to catch him before he leaves. of course, he’s too late.
> 
> no one ever explains to obiwan why anakin left. it makes the grief more difficult to live with, makes him certain he’s somehow to blame.
> 
> it wears him down, makes him sleepless and careless, and one day he makes a mistake. he hasnt slept in three days and ventress times her attack well.
> 
> she nearly kills him but in that last moment, a blue lightsaber gets between hers and obiwan.
> 
> the newcomer fights her until she has to choose between escape and death, then waits with obiwan until cody sends someone to pick him up.
> 
> he has a shadow from that day on. theres someone who follows him around, saving his life whenever its in danger.
> 
> the jedi die. padme amidala runs the rebellion.
> 
> obiwan kenobi survives, and finally, after everything, is reunited with anakin.
> 
> one day two men cloaked in shadow walk up to the emperor in broad daylight, the crowd parting in front of them, and they kill him without ever so much as lifting a hand. and thats the last anyone ever sees of obiwan kenobi and anakin skywalker.
> 
> (perhaps, somewhere far away, in a small house on the outskirts of a small village, ben and ani learn how to live with no rules but their own. how to love and trust and just be.)"
> 
> and then it sort of spiraled from there

For all the lectures on inappropriate use of the Force, Ben uses it all the time for the mundanest of tasks.

It’s odd, sensing darkness when Ben’s just washing dishes but after ten years Ani’s used to it.

“You’re staring, Ani,” Ben says without looking up.

Ani shrugs. “I like looking at you.” It’s what he always says, no matter how often they have this conversation.

Ben is smiling, just a little. “What are you thinking about?”

“Remembering.”

Ben turns finally, raising an eyebrow. “Remembering what?”

“Your lectures. We don’t have much use for old rules but the memory is a fond one.”

“Really?” Ben asks, incredulous. “You never listened to me. And perhaps you don’t remember but you never enjoyed my lectures when I gave them.”

Ani grins. “Of course I remember. But you no longer expect me to follow the rules so now I can enjoy the memory, finally.”

Ben hums, turning back to the dishes.

Ani, still grinning, turns back to his book.

*

Ben wakes panting, only half-aware that he’s not on any battlefield. The fabric of the sheets and Ani’s even breathing behind him pull him the rest of the way back to the present and he sinks back down to the pillow, trying to calm his racing heart and thoughts.

After a while he drifts off again, only to wake again in a panic minutes later.

This time he disentangles himself from the sheets and sits up. Perhaps he’ll go make tea and sit in one of the two armchairs.

Ani mumbles something and moves. Ben turns to see Ani reaching for him and touches his hand, then stretches a bit to stroke over his hair. He’s radiating heat, like he always does in sleep.

On most days Ben enjoys Ani’s warmth but suddenly he’s wishing for cold.

He slips out of the room silently, unreasonably anxious and desperate to be elsewhere.

*

It’s nearly winter.

Ben’s toes are cold before he makes it more than ten steps away from the house and for a moment he consider going back for shoes and a coat.

No. That would defeat the purpose.

The forest is pitch black at this time of night, even when both moons are full on a cloudless night. The trees are dense and tall, old.

For a few minutes he stands in the darkness between the trees, eyes wide and unseeing. Breathes slowly, in, out, repeat.

Then he starts running.

*

The house smells like his favorite tea when Ben steps through the door. It’s still dark outside, but neither of them sleeps well alone anymore.

Ani’s in the main room, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and the empty stare of the sleep-deprived. Ben winces and swallows the apology he knows Ani doesn’t want to hear.

(Never in their lives have they known each other this well. And really, it only took the destruction of everything they held dear to make this possible.)

“Was it the same dream?” Ani asks when he registers Ben’s presence.

Ben frowns, pouring tea into the cup waiting next to the kettle. “No. This one was later. Nearer the end.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” Ben presses his lips together, then groans as he sits down.

Ani says, “Let me see your feet.”

Ben lets Ani treat the small cuts on the soles of his feet. This is routine as much as the oft repeated conversations and their sleeping habits. Their younger selves would be appalled.


End file.
